Although classes at the university started on September 1, much is unsettled, including schedules. I should have known this because months ago, when I inquired as to when the fall semester began, the response was “September 1, so try to be here by the 10th.” I arrived on September 3rd and intended to start teaching on Monday the 8th. Not going to happen. At a meeting on the 8th I was informed that my class would start on Monday the 15th and would meet Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 4:00—5:20 pm. Well, I asked not to have early morning classes and they obliged.
In the meantime I was to address student groups in the auditorium on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday(!). These were not students who would be in my class, but were majors in different disciplines. I get the feeling that their department chairs/instructors/director just told them to attend, so they are not responsible for the material covered, nor, apparently, are they responsible for behaving. Each day’s session was to consist of two regular class periods of an hour and twenty minutes each, with a short break in the middle, about the same length as a Hinds night class.
On Wednesday (the 10th, just like they said) I addressed the first-year pre-law students in the auditorium. The auditorium is on the fourth floor (no elevators), and can probably seat about 150. Class was to begin at 1:10 pm. I, of course, arrived an hour early. The technician had a PowerPoint projector set up promptly at 1:35. By then about 75 students had filed in along with Professor Kamkia Astamurovich of the law faculty. Kamkia is Abkhazian and tremendously proud of Abkhazia’s recently declared independence from Georgia (the country, not Atlanta). Sheila Hailey befriended him and his wife Fatima, also of the law faculty, on a trip to Sochi in 2005. (More on the Astamurovichs and Abkhazia later.)
People close to me will vouch that I am a profuse sweater, so by the time I had walked two miles toting a laptop and trying to do e-mails in the un-air conditioned library, my groovy American shirt was soaking wet. I told the students, through the translator, that I sweated a lot but it was because of medication I take. The medication keeps me from being crazy but makes me sweat. If I’m sweating it’s a good thing, and if they ever see me and I’m not sweating, they had better run. Their eyes got big, then they burst into laughter. I have used this as an introduction every day since.
Because they were law students, I chose American government as the topic, wishing much of the time that Mickey Roth, Mike Lee, or Chip Reynolds were here to help. There were two interpreters, Susanna and Tanya, who are also to be my classroom assistants. Some of the students spoke a good deal of English, but most none at all. I talked about the basics: the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, federalism, three branches of government, and other topics that our own students have long since forgotten. I used PowerPoint with a lot of pictures because I thought non-English speaking students would benefit from visuals. Visual images, mixed with text, included a map of the thirteen British colonies in America, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, James Madison, the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the U.S. Capitol, the Senate and House chambers, Obama and McCain, the White House, and the Supreme Court.
Class behavior was disconcerting. It became clear in a hurry that the students in the first rows were very interested, but there was a clear distribution from front to rear. The farther back, the less interest. In the very rear, students talked to each other, talked on cell phones, and generally made little attempt to even pretend to be, well, college students. At least they were relatively quiet compared to the next day. What I had to remember was that these were not my students, were forced to be there, and I had no real control over them.
On Thursday at 1:10 (more like 1:30, when the PowerPoint worked) I addressed the economics majors. Economics majors are what we consider business majors. There was no faculty member present, just me and my trusty translators. The back of the auditorium, except for a few random moments, paid almost no attention. The translators asked them to settle down, but it didn’t do much good. When I told my friend Kamkia of the law department, he said it was because the business majors were stupid and had no manners anyhow.
I told the translators that I was a little miffed. They were shocked when I told them that if a student took a phone call in class at Hinds, he would go to prison right across the road and sell peanuts on the side of Highway 18 for the rest of his life. I am now informed that I should conduct my class that starts next week like an American class. I set the rules and grading. I can kick their behinds to Siberia. I hope the classroom door locks, like at Hinds, so I can teach them to be on time.
Friday afternoon was much better because I had history and language students. They were clearly more intelligent, attentive, attractive, and better behaved. The class, believe it or not, met at from 4:10 until 7:00 with a ten minute break (which means 20). I asked them why they were in class late Friday afternoon and they collectively groaned. All of them have Saturday classes, too. At the end of class I gave them a full review and they had to answer the following questions (See if you can):
1. How many British colonies were there in North America in the 1700s?
2. Name the four most populous.
3. Why was one named Georgia?
4. In what year did the American Revolution begin?
5. What was the Continental Congress?
6. What was the significance of July 4, 1776?
7. Who was the main author of the Declaration of Independence?
8. What were the Articles of Confederation?
9. Under the Articles, which had more power, the national government or the states?
10. Where did the Constitutional Convention meet?
11. Who was its chairman?
12. What kind of government did the Constitution create?
13. What is a federal government?
14. Who was the “Father of the Constitution?”
15. Name the three branches of the federal government.
16. What is the primary function of each?
17. Name the two houses of Congress.
18. How many members does the Senate have? Why?
19. How many years is the term of a Senator.
20. Name three Senators. (Hint: Two are running for president and one is married to a former president.)
21. How many members does the House of Representatives have?
22. What is the number that each state has based on?
23. How many Representatives does Mississippi have?
24. How many years is the term of a Representative?
25. How many years is the term of the President?
26. How many terms can a President serve?
27. Can a President be removed from office?
28. Has this ever been done?
29. What is the highest court in the U.S.?
30. How many justices are on that court?
31. What is the term of a justice on that court?
32. Who appoints justices to the court?
33. Which branch of Congress must approve those appointments?
34. How can the Constitution be changed or added to?
35. What are the first ten amendments called?
36. List at least five rights given to Americans in the first ten amendments.
At the end of class I had them stand, raise their right hands, and state that they had passed my course in American government. I then declared them honorary Americans.
If you could not answer at least 30 questions, you are a dishonorary American and have to go back to high school. Make that junior high. Sometimes I think it would be a good thing to give potential voters a ten-question quiz on basic American government when they enter voting places. If they can’t answer seven correctly, they don’t get to vote. We could also try the old Chip Reynolds method. He claimed that he gave students 20 bonus points if they didn’t vote and 30 if they didn’t even register. (I think this is a myth.)
Saturday at 12:30 I had the second-year law students. There were about one-fourth as many as in the first-year class, so the rate of attrition must be high. Like the history and language students, they seemed very interested and attentive and asked some good questions, even though a couple took phone calls.
Next week: Teaching a “regular” class.
Tags: Hear That? // 1 Comment »
T’is the season for deer hunting, and like clockwork, it’s time to see just how lazy hunters can be.
>
Deer season is upon us in Mississippi, and like any other year, I’m starting to lose my wits …